Hypochondriacal baby.

by Dori Nicole

I’ve been battling anxiety for most of the day. I was watching 50/50 starring Joseph Gordon Levitt and Seth Rogan about the 27 year old guy who goes to the doctor to complain of back pain and night sweats and finds out he has cancer in his spine. The opening scene of him taking his morning run across the street while clenching his back reminded me of my own current morning jogs and made me want to cry believing that I too have cancer of the spine now.

Later on, I realized that I momentarily became one of those idiots who buys her wigs from Chinese eBay.  Granted I’d never worn a wig before and was coerced by my mom who insisted I try one because she bought a fabulous one earlier this year for like $10. Well I spent $16 and I may as well have just wiped my ass with it and flushed it down the toilet because my purchase turned out to be plastic barbie doll hair that was ultra thin at the top with heavy ass curls on the bottom with a crooked part.

I couldn’t stop laughing long enough to snap a photo to send to my boyfriend before trashing it. I would insert a photo here but I’m way too turned off to try it on again for the sake of the blog and it has great potential to become another internet meme to exploit black girls. The seller insists no one leaves them negative feedback and I really can’t justify doing so because it did get here in two weeks, and I was the idiot who bought it against my own good judgement. It just looked so good on the model, but now in hindsight I realize that they probably stole some girls instagram photo.